I cannot tell you how excited I am that you two have agreed to chat with me about your marriage and love. I’ve admired your marriage and it was not a hard decision to pick yall to be a featured couple.
LM: What!!! For real? That’s awesome! I would have never guessed that. So, what attracted you to each other?
CD: We both agree, initially it was our personalities. As time went on, I was attracted to his chivalry; he was such a gentleman.
ED: As time went on, I was attracted to how much we had in common. We loved doing the same things!
LM: That is so awesome! So let’s switch gears for a minute. What is love to you or how would you define it?
ED: Love should be simple.
CD: Love is knowing no matter what happens, he will be there. He’s not leaving, he’s not judging; he is just gonna love me through it all, regardless.
LM: Man!!! You both just said a mouthful!! I think so many people are lusting and not loving. When they find out that person ain’t perfect then they out. Crystal you said something so key. You said he’s not leaving or judging. That’s what folks do!! They get ghost the first time something doesn’t go right.
When you were dating, how did you know you were in love with each other?
CD: We were sitting in church one Sunday morning. I was allowed to stay all night at his mom’s house, sleep in a separate room if we went to church on Sunday. We were sitting there listening to the sermon and it hit me. I absolutely love this man!
ED: When I realized her heart was all mine and my heart was all hers.
LM: Omg!!! Ya’ll gonna make me cry. That is amazing!!! I love it!!!
How did you know that your spouse was the one?
CD: After we dated for awhile we started living together. Every night we cuddled before falling asleep. I had never felt so safe before than l did when I was wrapped in his arms. Still feel that way today. His arms = my safety.
LM: How long did you date before getting engaged?
CD: We knew each other and were friends for 5 years; dating for at least 3 years.
LM: What is dating with a purpose?
CD: Dating with a purpose could mean so many different things.
LM: Hmm interesting. Ok. So let’s deviate for a moment.
Intimacy. How important is that during the dating phase?
LM: Engagement period?
CD: Very. You need to know you can satisfy each other.
LM: After marriage?
CD: Very. It’s a way to connect and become one.
LM: Co-habitation. What are your thoughts on that?
ED: I think it should be mandatory. Date and live together before getting married.
CD: I agree, I realize some will not, but I believe you have to know if you can get along co-existing in the same habitat before you take your vows.
LM: Crystal, what are you most proud of Ed for?
CD: His love and commitment to me and our kids. He never fails to put us first. He has always made sure to think of us in any decision he makes.
LM: Ya’ll give me goosebumps!! I absolutely love that!!!
What role does religion or spirituality play in your marriage?
CD: We both have the same beliefs. Religion has played a major role in the past, do to obligations we agree that it hasn’t played as big a role recently but we still continue to live our lives with those beliefs and be thankful for all we are blessed with. We walk by faith.
LM: Family is very important. Is getting along with his/her family a must?
CD: Family is important but the family you create together is the most important. So no, it’s not a must but makes things easier.
LM: How do you deal with the differences in each other’s families?
CD: We laugh a lot!
LM: I know what you mean. Sometimes you just have to laugh. Lol
LM: Is dating your spouse required in marriage?
CD: It’s not a requirement but we think it is very beneficial.
LM: How do you resolve differences?
CD: Communication; talking things out; knowing nothing is too big that you can’t work through together.
LM: I think communication is key in any relationship.
Children. Do they change the marriage?
LM: How so?
CD: Together you have to change your focus to putting them first, with an independent balance of putting each other first.
LM: Money. Can it ruin a marriage?
CD: It’s ruined plenty, but not ours. Maybe because we have always believed if we have love and each other, that’s more important than money.
LM: Who handles the money?
LM: Do you think it should be a collaborative effort or one person in charge of that?
CD: It’s always collaborative; Ed is the bookkeeper. I love it because it’s one less thing for me to stress about.
LM: What things should you consider about your intended spouse’s finances before engagement or marriage? Or should you even care?
CD: You probably should care but when you believe love conquers all, then you believe all that needs to happen will eventually.
LM: No ma’am. Show me the money honey! Love is good for a lot of things but it cannot pay my bills. But I do believe that with love and communication we can come to a common ground about finances.
What do you do for fun?
CD: Hang out with the kids, camping, go to concerts, craft beer
LM: Did you think you would still be married this long?
CD: Hell yeah, and we expect to be married till the day one of us is gone. This is it.
LM: I know that’s right friend!!! I love it!!!
What aspect of marriage were you most surprised by?
ED: How easy the right person makes it.
CD: How much more I would love him today than yesterday.
LM: The least challenging?
ED: Ryan’s Buffett on kids night with a B1G1 coupon. 😂
LM: Ed!! You are a mess!!!
What has been the greatest obstacle you’ve faced?
CD: Work in progress
LM: What annoys you most about each other?
ED: That she’s a passenger seat driver.
LM: Oh Crystal! No you don’t girl.
CD: That he doesn’t realize by now that me being a passenger seat driver is not because I don’t trust him but is from my panic/anxiety. I’ve lost so much, I don’t want to lose us.
LM: Awww. Ya’ll are so cute!!
What’s the one thing that makes you glad you married each other?
CD: We are best friends. We don’t have to play a part ever!
LM: Any advice for singles looking for love or engaged couples?
ED: Learn to love yourself so you can love someone else.
CD: Don’t argue, don’t ever say something in the heat of the moment. Words cannot be taken back, ever. No matter how much you apologize. Just wait.. have a drink and talk things out, calmly. This year we will be married 15 years. Not once have we yelled, cussed or screamed at each other. I know we are not going anywhere. So take your time and then talk about things that may have upset you. We prefer to do that during alone time and a drink or two.
LM: I love it!!! That’s what I call making the best of everything honey!
What’s next for Crystal and Ed?
CD: Who Knows! But we can guarantee whatever it is, we will do it together!
LM: I absolutely love ya’ll and I love ya’ll together!! Thanks for chatting with me about all things love and marriage.