Lakia & Derek Brandenburg

This awesome couple has put in work to have a successful and loving marriage. They compliment each other and make everyone in their presence want to level up. As a single woman, I’ve even been challenged to do better. Check out my interview with the Wife Coach and her hubby as they drop nuggets of wisdom for us. 

LM: Let’s start with how did you two meet.
LB: Derek and I met at the barbershop. I was brought in as a customer with a friend, who I went to college with, was unknowingly already Derek’s client.

LM: When you were dating, how did you know you were in love with each other?
LB: I knew Derek loved me (and he knew too) when he drove through the night from South Carolina to Maryland to surprise me for my birthday/graduation celebration.

LM: How long do you think couples should date before getting engaged?
LB: I think couples should date at least four seasons because as seasons change, people change. That’s the minimum. But after 2-3 years, you should know if they’re the one OR if you should run.

LM: Right!! I think some people are so in a rush to get engaged and married that they don’t properly date each other.
So how long did you date before getting engaged?
DB: We were off but more on for 10 years before we decided to get married.

LM: Co-habitation. What are your thoughts on that?
DB: Shacking? We did that. I think you should shack before you get married to get to know your spouse-to-be. It’s hard to get married and not know how to live with someone and that be the cause of you breaking up.

LM: LB, where did your love for wives and couples come from?
LB: “All married women aren’t wives” and this became my message as Derek and I prepared for married. We endured a year of premarital education and training, and I learned so much about the power in my position as a wife, that I wrote Picture Perfect and The Tiara to share our experiences and started coaching wives and wives-to-be indirectly through my two books.

 

 

LM: Derek, how do you support her in this?
DB: I support her by believing in the message that she is teaching others. I support her by understanding her position as a wife, which allows me to be the man that I am to give her security and protection.

LM: Oooh I like that Derek!! You should be the husband coach because that is good!! I like that!!
Derek, when you see all the things LB is doing, how proud of her are you?
DB: I’m very proud of the work I see her do; by knowing where she came from to get to where she is today.

LM: Ahh that is so sweet. I just love yall.
How do you balance it all? Work, being an entrepreneur, family, etc.
LB: That’s the million dollar question: how do you balance it all? The key is to create some form of balance so you can live in harmony. Did you catch that? Balance will look differently for every marriage, and even within that marriage, it can look different by the day or week. You have to define what balance looks like for you and your family, schedule your week on paper, ask for help and adjust accordingly!

LM: Wow!! Pass the collection plate please. My sister you just said a mouthful.
I’m gonna play devil’s advocate here.
What if your wife makes more money? Does that have any effect on the marriage? How so?
DB: If my wife makes more money, that’s just a greater tool for our marriage.

LM: Is dating your spouse required in marriage?
DB: Yes, it’s required in marriage. A date night should always be fun. Dating your wife, allows you all to bring back that puppy love that got you together.

LM: What do you do for fun?
LB: We love to have fun in our marriage. We play family games like Connect Four, Karaoke, Jenga; we go to comedy clubs and concerts. We LOVE traveling to Jamaica, where we were married, honeymooned and spent a few anniversaries.

LM: Did you think you would still be married this long?
DB: After pre-marital education, yes! Before that, no.
LB: I agree

LM: What aspect of marriage were you most surprised by?
DB: How easy it is.
LB: Uh, I wouldn’t say that. I would say that marriage will mature you or expose the immaturity in you. It has helped me to grow as a woman, wife, and mother.

LM: What annoys you most about each other?
LB: We’re both Geminis and if you know anything about that sign, let’s just say on any given day, you don’t know who you’re going to get. LOL

LM: Ya’ll are too cute. Thanks so much for allowing me to interview you.

 

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